Using the power of feedback to change your behavior

Our behavior is actually a very complex system. It consists of a collection of components that work together in order to achieve some goals. You eat and drink to survive, walk and drive in order to get where you need to go, befriend others so that you can enjoy the protection and pleasures of a social network, work to have money so that you can eat in order to survive, and so on. But if behavior serves as a slave to the master of goals, why is it that we cannot simply change goals and have our behavior fall in line? Why is it that we can’t simply declare that our goal is now to exercise vigorously for 30 minutes and sit back and watch our bodies go at it? Why is it so hard to change?

I know how most of you have probably explained your difficulties. In fact there are a few ultra-common ones:

No willpower. Many people tell themselves that they lack will-power or perhaps don’t want the goal (lose weight, get fit, learn new skill, etc.) enough. They kick themselves again and again, every time their behavior doesn’t match the noble goals they’ve ordained for themselves, declaring that they’re weak, miserable, wretched creatures who will always be fat, poor, late, unliked, tired, unhappy, or whatever.

No time. Another popular explanation is that you didn’t do x, y, or z because you just don’t have the time. After all, they’re a busy mom, employee, student, daughter, coach, wife, volunteer, playmate, and maybe all of the above. You’re just too busy to cook a meal of steamed vegetables, too tired to drag yourself to the gym, too short on time to sit quietly and meditate.

No time, no money, no way. Sometimes people will declare that the goals themselves are perhaps not so noble, practical, or even desirable. They question their motives (“Why should I lose weight; people should love me the way I am”), justify their current behaviors (“I’m just not a social person — I don’t really need to build my social network. In fact being too friendly would not be genuine!”), and consider alternatives (“I’ll go on the Atkins diet — sure, that’s perfect this way I can pig out on all the pork I want and I’ll still be following a ‘diet’”).

I also know the most likely responses to these explanations:

Fortify will-power. After kicking themselves for being so damn weak, these people are sure that if they just keep at it and try harder they’ll eventually be successful (“I’ve just got to try harder, harder, harder, dammit!”).

Change goals. Sometimes people believe that if you can’t hit the target, well then just move the target to make it easier to hit (“Exercising 30 minutes a day for three times a week is just not practical given all my multitude of obligations — a walk around the block every Saturday morning should be enough”).

Give up. Unfortunately, many people just give up and accept their current situation as if etched in granite (“I’m never going to be skinny, energetic, popular, great at a sport, happy, a non-smoker, or whatever, so why keep trying?”).

The reason why behavior change is so difficult is because most people have characterized the problem incorrectly. Behavior is a system. You might not have thought about it that way but that’s exactly what it is. Like all systems, its existence is defined in terms of 3 components: goals, output, and input. Most people attempt change through concentrating on goals and output. That’s why change is so hard. They focus on the wrong thing.

Consider the problem of trying to convince your dog (if you don’t have a dog, imagine that you have one) to not lie on your fancy couch. What would you do? Well you’d probably reward her for staying off the couch and withhold treats or even punish her when she sits on it it. Your reinforcements and punishments amount to feedback. Notice that there’s no discussion, no will-power, no change of the dog’s goals (or your goals). The dog is still a dog and still behaves like a dog, except that she will jump up on the couch less and less as your repeat the feedback more and more. I’d like to dwell on this point a bit more because it’s crucial.

The dog’s behavior, like yours, is a system. Perhaps her behavioral system is not as complex as yours but it’s still a system and remarkably complex nonetheless. The dog behavioral system has certain goals (food, water, protection, sticking with the pack, fun, etc.) and is designed to accomplish certain actions to satisfy those goals (eating, drinking, seeking shelter, staying close, play). By reinforcing staying off the couch you alter neither their goals nor their behaviors, for if you tried, you’d be pursuing the fool’s errand (not to mention giving yourself a heart attack). You are simply altering environmental feedback such that sitting on the couch produces feedback that the dog’s behavior is not achieving its goals (no treats, stern looks from you, which threatens her social standing in the pack). It would be foolhardy to make the dog any less a dog and it is no less foolhardy to make you any less you.

Thus, while most people focus on the goals and the output directly, it’s the feedback that deserves the attention. Just as a driver must see the road to drive, the thermostat must sense temperature to control the heating, and the hypothalamus must receive hormone concentration signals to know whether to continue or halt its activity, the behavioral system relies on feedback. This fact represents an entirely new class of possibilities for improving health and wellness that aim to relieve pain through altering feedback to the pain system. To compel the driver to steer left, make her believe she is too far to the right. To elevate the temperature, make it appear to the thermostat that it’s cooler than it is. Likewise to alter the our health-related behaviors, craft feedback to compel the system to respond in desired ways.